>>....>>>....>>>>....

where's dat someone wen u reallli realli need him/her...i know u're out there..someone who will tolerate my emotions..who i want? i dunno..who i have in mind? no one..my brains r jus empty right now..i need someone who can get some sense into me...psychologist perhaps??? god...i went to penang to pray n i get screwed up like dis...its so weird...hmmmpphh...

at dis point i feel nautious (feel like vomiting) dunno whether correct spellin...
listening to ruben studdard's celebrate me home again n again...
talkin to my ex who seems to b d oni wan being concern at d moment but me being a stubborn ass is jus not taking his advise to eat somethin...cos i find it useless for it will oni come bak out in d reverse way..so i dun c a point..y is it so hard?? ive neva been so hard on myself b4..

last time alcohol used to help but i guess wit no alcohol tolerance now it might oni result to worst..

im not even 19 n im aledi fed up wit life..wats fucking wrong wit me??
i cant even bloody take care of myself..
i cant depend on myself..
i cant hold my tears in...
wat is wrong wit me..
bloody hell...jus suck me down there where i can burn in flames..
tho its not d best way to die..but its d same s cremating my body..so wat d hack..
its probably one of d stupidest post..
im tryin to let it all out..
but i guess some emotions r jus left unexplainable???
n i know its weird..but wat to do...i cant freakin explain myself...

for all there is,
im still reminiscing,
the possibilities,
that i cud b facing.
the future is not for me to perfect,
nor d past dat was impaired.
there may b a light
on dat lonely planet
where my soul landed
but till it arrives
i drive along d long bumpy roads.

i got ntg else to write..probably d most lamest poem (if u consider it as one) ive ever written..
if oni things wud go d way we wished,
life wudnt b such a struggle??
im not seekin for attention..
i jus needed to let it out somewhere somehow..
i guess a time out wud do some good..

*feeling sick to d stomach*